this is the real deal, like it or lump it.

most of my blog posts from this point on will be better and more organized i swear. i just really had to say something tonight, i feel it's needed.

i'm just gonna say it, i'm going to type exactly whats on my mind with no shame because that's what i WANT so badly of this blog. i want it to be REAL~ no perfect mom, perfect house, perfect looking children & dog, perfect huge pictures w/ my thousand dollar camera bullshit! good lord, if anything i want this to be the "Roseanne of daytime television" kind of blog. the real deal, the girl w/ the more modest life who has issues and don't mind sharing them. i'm me and i refuse to sugar coat myself for anyone. don't get me wrong, i want it to mostly be inspiring and creative, but i also want to share my hardships and thoughts at times...or even my joys & blessings because i know they will come along as well. life is not guaranteed to be smooth sailing, rough waters come and go, why not share all of it?

someone hurt my feelings that is really close to me about my last post, the "christmas rant" one. i meant nothing by that but to share something that was weighing on my heart. i guess this someone is probably feeling like i am a burden on them in some way, because i'm not like other people in the world that have their "life" together by the age of 30. i can't tell you how hurt i am to hear i'm such a disappointment. dang, i wish my "life" was more suitable right now, too. just months ago my husband had his dream job and we were renting a nice big house w/ a pretty lawn, things seemed finically stable for the time. but then there's life and those rough waters start churning again, & off we go! yes, we're in a midst of a lil storm right now but we most definitely will survive, we always do.

i feel like sharing real things from my personal world might even help others feel a bit more human. don't we all have enough false media & air-brushed hollywood to last a lifetime? i'm not perfect, i'm an open book and you can expect a combination of that here. i would hope the bulk of y'all would find that refreshing & thank you because i'm sure most of you do.

i don't like to even be writing something like this, getting all defensive and stuff. it's something i felt needed to be said after that other somebody kinda hurt me. it's out there now & once i again i feel a bit better about letting it off into the universe & outside of my worried mind!

**sigh of relief**

:)

the real deal

~Peace & blessin's to all~